Parenting: A Test of Character and, Hopefully, a School of Virtue

It didn’t hit me really until my second child was born that parenting really is a test of character. I am guessing this realisation sank in because our daughter was just heading into the notorious “terrible twos” when our second child was born. Somehow, there is nothing like a strong-willed two-year-old combined with sleep-deprived nights to put your patience and your staying power to the test.

Don’t get me wrong: each of my children is an awesome miracle in their own right. It is impossible not to love them and not to bowled over by the fact that they are tiny persons who, not long ago, came from non-existence to existence, and are destined, barring some tragic disruption, to gradually forge their own dreams, hopes, aspirations, and life projects just like anyone else. And somehow, it feels like an undeserved privilege to actually have them under one’s care until they can fend for themselves.

Yet the responsibility and burden of parenting is nothing to be sneezed at. On paper, most people know this. But first-hand experience is a more profound teacher than books, testimony, or inferences from one’s own experience of being a son or daughter. When you have a child, it starts to dawn on you that this tiny, defenceless person who just arrived on your doorstep depends on you and your spouse not only for his survival, but also for his moral, emotional and spiritual development.